RANT: What is up with coffee these days?

General

It might be because I’m very tired at the moment due to a lack of sleep, caused by my housemates playing Fifa until 4 in the morning, or that I had a series of depressingly disappointing cups of coffee, but I feel like ranting about the lack of quality of store-bought cups of caffeine these days. They should be the bright moment of my early morning, instead they’ve become a disgusting chore.

At home, I have the luxury of a Nespresso-machine with loads of cups, and if I want to I can make a decent pot of the black gold via an old school machine. Neither of these options is very hard, put in coffee, put in water, press a button et voilá! Then why is it, the moment I leave my house, whatever the reason, that I am surrounded by mediocre alternatives that most times don’t even deserve the title of ‘coffee’. I’m talking about those disgusting cups with a layer of cream on top. Café Crème, is what it’s called. It is the most evil, malevolent of products.

I normally drink my coffee black. That is, until it is undrinkable. At that point, I add in sugar. I like the taste of pure coffee, but once the taste is lacking, I’d rather drink a cup of sugar.

I think it has to do with Starbucks. Starbucks made sure drinking coffee wasn’t just for boring old people, but made it hip and mainstream. How did they do it? By making products that didn’t taste like coffee at all. I’m talking about those Macchiato’s, and other shit. This lowered the standards for competitors. They saw that people didn’t want coffee, they wanted something sweet instead of bitter. Sweet, disgusting cups of crap, that’s where the money is at. No longer were companies required to make good coffee.

I started drinking coffee at an early age. First, with milk and sugar. I once tried a ristretto in Italy around the age of ten. At first, I was disgusted by the strength of the flavor, but I learned to love it. Early on in high-school, I’d take a coffee when all my friends where drinking cans of cola. Not to be a hipster or anything, but I just enjoyed it more than a soda. I started drinking without milk. Gradually I even started drinking it plain black.

Nowadays, when I don’t make my coffee myself, I have to add sugar. Either because the coffee tastes like cardboard, or because it lacks taste at all. I need it for the caffeine, of which I’ve become somewhat addicted. I blame the mainstream. If that makes me a hipster, so be it. But my point still stands; Starbucks has ruined coffee.

I even went to a Starbucks once. I asked for coffee. They didn’t understand. I said “coffee, just regular, plain, strong coffee.” “Oh,” the lady behind the counter, which some people call ‘barrista’, but I don’t think they’re worthy of that name,  said. “You mean an Americano”.

I was this close to bashing her head in with a coffee pot.

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Hi! I'm Felix, the guy with the giant arrow pointing at him above. I'm Dutch. I like to write, I like to draw, and I like to voice my opinion sometimes. Welcome to my blog, where everything I create is collected. You might know me as FelixR1991 - or you might not. Whatever the case may be, I hope you have great time scrolling through my stuff!

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